How Can Parents Resolve Conflicts Without Affecting Their Children?

In any relationship, it is important to know how to resolve conflicts, and it becomes even more important when a couple starts a family. The fact that disputes are not handled or are handled poorly can have a very negative effect on children.

Every dispute is different, and conflicts can take many forms. The dispute can be a small exchange of words between the parties to the couple or swell into a huge destructive conflict. In this article, we provide tips on how to resolve conflict situations so that they do not affect children in the family.

Conflicts are a natural thing

According to experts, various conflicts are a normal part of intimate relationships. When a person internalizes this, conflicts cease to be crisis situations, and at best, the parties to the couple can see them as an opportunity for growth. The fact that a couple never quarrels does not necessarily mean that the relationship is excellent and will continue as such for the future. In some cases, avoiding conflicts leads to potting of problems.

According to Les and Leslie Parrott, couples who avoid clashes and very rarely argue end up replacing their anger with other things instead of dealing with their emotions. Such things can be, for example, depression, overeating or even physical illness. In their book Learning to live together: Conflict as an opportunity for growth, Gloria and Victoria Pérez write that conflicts themselves are not positive or negative. It all depends on how they are treated and how they are treated.

However, conflicts can be very negative and hurt if its parties focus on urgent and insignificant things, behave irresponsibly, or say malicious things. All this only makes the situation worse.

How can parents resolve conflicts without affecting their children?

• Deal with conflicts at the right time in the right place. Go through problems, for example, when children are sleeping or away from home. Also, make sure that you have enough time to discuss the matter and that you are both calm when the conversation begins.
• Keep conflicts private. Things between a couple belong only to themselves. In addition to making sure that children are not present at the time of the dispute, do not discuss private matters with anyone other than your spouse.
• Consider postponing the matter. If your spouse doesn’t want to discuss it right now, consider whether it is possible to postpone the discussion a bit. However, do not wait more than a day, as it is important to find out.
• Take overtime. If a conversation heats up, remember that you can always request overtime. This will give you both a chance to calm down and continue the conversation later.

When children are present in a dispute

Sometimes a situation arises where it is unavoidable that children are present when parents argue. If this happens, it is important to follow a few guidelines.

• Explain to your children with your partner that they are not the problem and the cause of the dispute. Sometimes a child witnessing a dispute between their parents feels guilty about the conflict. So tell the child that the dispute only concerns you and your partner, not the children. You do not have to tell the child the exact reason for the dispute, but be sure to mention that you will find a solution to the problem.
• Be a good role model for the child. Try to reverse the situation so that children see conflict as an opportunity to learn. Teach children how to resolve conflict in a constructive way. Use your example to show what a peaceful conversation based on mutual respect looks like. Show the child that you and your partner are listening to each other, talking to each other politely, and trying to understand each other despite the dispute.

Why is it so important to know how to resolve conflicts without affecting children?

Solving problems is, of course, very beneficial to the parties in a couple. Finding a solution together as a couple strengthens and deepens the relationship. When children see their parents resolve conflicts in a mature and constructive way, they learn to deal with their own problems in a similar way. They learn important skills such as negotiation and problem solving skills.

It is important that parents know how to resolve conflicts so that they do not affect children. Constantly arguing with parents in front of children and failing to resolve problems will forcibly negatively affect children. Such behavior exposes children to personal problems as they grow toward adulthood. Parents set an excellent example for children by resolving conflict situations in a mature and calm manner.