Donald Winnicott And Good Enough Mother

Donald Winnicott was an English pediatrician and psychoanalyst who studied and cared for mentally ill children and their mothers. He explored much of the bond between mother and child and emphasized empathy, imagination, and caring in his theoretical publications. According to Winnicott, a mother’s activities during infancy also affect a child’s emotional development in the long run. He created the so-called good enough mother concept, in which he set out minimum requirements for what a baby needs to develop properly.

A baby’s sense of security depends on the vital first stages of his or her life. Whether or not a mother has been able to meet the baby’s needs can affect what features or abnormalities this manifests. What makes Winnicott’s theory significant and effective is the idea that no mother needs or is supposed to be perfect.

Duties of the mother

The first stages of a baby’s life are characterized by the child’s inability to distinguish between himself and his mother. The emotional bond between the child and the mother is extremely close and the baby is completely dependent on the care provided by the mother. So the baby does not feel separate from his mother. The mother’s behavior should be aimed at identifying and satisfying the baby’s needs.

For a child to be able to develop properly, the mother must fulfill her role of physical support. This means that the baby needs to be fed, tidy and dressed, in addition to which he needs to be protected. The child should also be given regular physical intimacy. All of the above are ways to show love to a child through body language. By identifying and responding to a child’s needs and being present to the child, you can help the child be spared from a wide range of distress.

It is also important for the mother to provide emotional support. For example, the mother must be open and accept all of the child’s emotional needs and deal with them properly. The mother should also deal with the child’s positive emotions, smiles and playfulness. However, the mother should be willing and willing to deal with the child’s negative emotions, crying, anxiety, and impulsivity as well.

With the support of the mother, the child feels well-loved, loved, and understood. And most importantly, the child feels safe. If this process has taken place without problems, the baby is ready to face gradual separation from its mother. This helps the child to understand himself as an independent individual, separate from the mother.

All of these maternal behaviors originate as early as pregnancy, so-called maternal worry. It is about a mother’s particular sensitivity to identify her child’s needs and respond to them in the right way.

Good enough mom

However, it is not realistic to expect a mother to be perfect. You can’t understand what every cry, gesture, or discomfort in your baby is telling you, and you can’t solve every problem with your child right away. No one can expect a mother to always be in the right state of mind or patient enough to respond in an ideal way to a child.

This is not realistic, nor is it necessary. Yes, the child is able to tolerate some frustration. As a child grows, so does his or her resilience. For example, a mother’s temporary absence, her momentary exhaustion, or her inability to understand what the child needs does not harm the child emotionally.

A mother doesn’t have to be perfect, just a good enough mother. The mother should be present to the child, respond to her needs, comfort the child when depressed, and show love to the child. Even a mother is a person who sometimes fails, and that’s completely natural.

However, if a mother continues to fail to care for her child and is not present for the child, or hold the child in her arms, this can have detrimental consequences for the baby. If the mother is generally not physically or mentally present for her child, sudden changes in the child’s character may be seen, which can cause difficulties in the child’s self-confidence development.

If this happens, and the mother is able to see and correct the mistakes she has made, the problem can be corrected. In this case, the mother shows her child love and care to repair the damage and create a stronger bond with her child. If you are a mother and feel pressured to be a perfect mother, leave this thought to your mind. You can make mistakes in between, lose your temper and be exhausted. It’s completely natural. And remember, you’re a good enough mom.