Arguing In Front Of Children Is A Big Mistake

This article discusses the negative effects of arguing in front of children. Parents often argue with their children without realizing how detrimental it can be.

First, the children are too small to understand what is going on. This is another reason why the situation evokes negative feelings in them.

We parents sometimes forget that our children are not old enough to deal with adult problems.

In other words, we think they have enough tools and maturity to deal with such situations in a healthy way. However, this is not the case.

Children easily misinterpret tone of voice, sudden movements, and other non-verbal communication that occurs in disputes. This applies even to small babies.

Dialogue and the importance of communication

Conversation and communication are a normal part of every relationship. In fact, they can be an indication of a couple’s mental health. However, this depends on the nature of the conversation as well as the level of aggression.

It is always good to approach any topic without accelerating and so that it does not have a negative impact on the people around you. If the quarrel involves shouting and hostile language, it can scare children.

If parents argue in front of children, it can have a variety of consequences. First, you give your child a negative pattern of relationships.

Your behavior also makes the rules and boundaries look open to interpretation. Such situations can also be very confusing to the young mind and difficult to understand.

Consequences of arguing in front of children

First, when children see their parents arguing, a negative pattern of interpersonal relationships develops for them. Children are like sponges that constantly absorb information about their environment.

When you argue with your children, you are indirectly teaching them that this is how they should resolve disagreements.

Children pay attention to whether you understand each other or not. With your example, they learn to behave respectfully – or disrespectfully towards others.

If you interrupt each other, your child will learn to do the same. The same is true if you avoid eye contact. Children follow your example, and how you behave shapes a child’s behavioral tendencies and personality from an early age.

Another consequence of arguing in front of children is that the rules and limits you set become subject to interpretation.

Ideally, parents form a common front and work as a team on home rules.

Children cry and question the speeches of their parents just because one of the parents disagrees. Eventually, they no longer know who to obey, or they learn to manipulate their parents to get their will through.

Arguing in front of children is also harmful because it makes children think about whose side they are on.

Children should never feel the need to act as a referee or mediator between parents. It is not the child’s job to act as a judge or choose sides – both parents are equally important to the child.

It doesn’t hurt if your child knows that you sometimes disagree with things and you need to figure things out by talking. However, the child should never have to choose sides or even need to know the details of the dispute.

Arguing in front of children leaves a lasting imprint

Undoubtedly, one of the most painful memories a child can have is proving the tension between parents. From a child’s perspective, parents exist to take care of him and protect him.

When these two most important people in a child’s life start shouting and hurting each other, the child is scared and he feels vulnerable.

The journal Development and Psychopathology published a study by the Steinhardt School of the University of New York. According to it, if children testify to aggression between their parents, this can negatively affect their emotional life.

The researchers collected data until the children were 58 months old. They found that children with more aggression at home found it more difficult to identify and regulate emotions.

The researchers ’findings also showed that the ability to recognize and regulate one’s own emotions is associated with the development of emotional intelligence.

Children who have witnessed aggression between parents find it more difficult to deal with feelings of grief, rejection, and fear.

When a child is unable to regulate or deal with these emotions, he or she will more easily develop symptoms of anxiety and depression in the future.

We know how important it is to be able to identify and express emotions in everyday life. If we deny our child that ability, this can lead to serious problems in the future. Therefore, it is best to always quarrel so that children are not present.