A Reflection Session For A Child Instead Of A Cold

Today, we want to talk about using the so-called corner of thought as an alternative to sending a child to the ice. The technique of sending a child to sit in a special chair or space to think about their behavior became very popular thanks to a hugely popular television show, Super Nanny .

Sending a child to a corner to shame is, of course, not a new idea, but before Super Nanny, technology was typically used only as a method of punishment. The original idea was that the child would feel bad because of his behavior, and he would regret it on ice.

A one-year-old or two-year-old child does not yet know how to deduce things, and thus does not repent of his actions by meditating on them alone in a corner of shame. When a small child is sent alone to sit on the ice, he or she does not understand that it is a consequence of a particular act. He may realize he has done something wrong, which is why his parents don’t want him close. This, of course, is not the goal of any parent.

Sensitive children may even learn to think that because he has done something bad, his parents will no longer love him. Point. When you use isolation in the form of punishment, you are sending a message to your child that your love is not limitless, but you must behave in a certain way to earn it. “ I only love you if you behave well. “When our children receive this message, it evokes feelings of insecurity in them.

It is important to understand that our children are still learning how to control their own behavior and actions. This is especially true for young children.

So when you punish them, you often punish them for behavior they can’t yet control. This brings out feelings of frustration in the child. Instead of looking at their own behavior, the child learns to observe only your reactions.

If sending your child to the ice helps, it’s only because your child wants your love and approval more than anything else. And of course, then your child already has some control over their own behavior. If this is not the case – sending your child to the freezer will not work the way you want it to.

But do you really want to use your love as some kind of reward? Do you want your child to think he or she will have to deserve your love? Doesn’t your child deserve to think he deserves all your love just because he exists?

Of course, we want our children to know that our love is constant, steady, eternal, and unbreakable. This type of love defines a healthy relationship between parent and child.

There is an even better option that allows the child to maintain control, reflect on their actions, and look for alternative ways to act in the same situation. All of this is based on the parents ’absolute love for the child.

A reflection session for a child

The idea of ​​the reflection session is based on the same thing as sending a child to the ice – it seeks a space where the child is given time and opportunity to look at their own behavior and take control of what they are doing. Of course, sending a child to the ice is based on exactly the same ideology. The difference between the two methods is that the report for the session, according to the child, is left either by one of the parents, or by another trusted adult, such as a familiar babysitter.

The moment of reflection is, in principle, very similar to the “Table of Peace” based on Montessori’s philosophy. However, a child sitting at a table comes to it voluntarily when he or she feels like it. The child can also decide for himself whether he wants to follow at the table or not.

When a child is sent to a corner not to be ashamed in the form of punishment, but to think and learn to control his own actions, he is always accompanied by an adult. The adult also decides in this case when a reflection moment is necessary.

Another difference is that a peace table is normally some physical place in the home, like a table, as the name suggests. The reflection of the moment, on the other hand, can take place anywhere – it doesn’t necessarily have to be a chair in the corner.

The idea is that the child settles into a corner, not ashamed. This thinking can be done by a child anywhere, the idea is that it does not require a physical place like a corner.

A child of the moment can think about it, for example, on a park bench, in bed, in the backyard in the middle of a play, or in any place of your choice, when you feel the need for it. You can have a moment of reflection with your child in any place where you can both take time to calm down.

What kind of activities in the reflection session can you engage in?

Basically, you can do any kind of activity with your child at this point that increases his or her self-control.

For example, we recommend telling a child stories, drawing, tearing small pieces of paper, jumping, shouting, running as hard as a child can, breathing deeply, watching the rustling leaves of trees, watching the stomach rise and fall with breathing, listening to a parent’s heartbeat, drinking, drinking and so on.

As you can see, there are numerous options for calming a child.

Once your child has calmed down and you find that he or she is in control of his or her behavior again, you can talk about what happened and why you think the child needed time to calm down. Try to use neutral language when talking about what happened to your child, avoid blaming the child, or making him or her a victim of the situation.

You can discuss how your child can try to react to the same situation in the future. You can also, if the situation allows, try to suggest ways to your child how he or she could fix what happened.

Why is this tactic better than sending a child to the ice?

Because unlike posting to the ice, a child’s reflection moment is not based on isolating the child from his or her parents. Second, with this technique, your child will gradually learn to control their emotions, and think about their behavior. She does all this while being supported by a trusted mother or father, or a familiar adult like a babysitter.