What Is Positive Attention?

Children need a lot of attention, especially from adults. They may sometimes even resort to bad behavior to attract attention – even if it is negative. This is why positive attention is so important with children.

It helps parents better ensure that children do not resort to attention-seeking behavior. In addition, it supports healthy personal development.

What are positive and negative attention?

Examples of positive attention include praising and congratulating a child for good performance, taking an interest in the child’s accomplishments, using loving language, and encouraging the child to do things. In such ways, parents tell the child that this is important. They make the child feel valued, which is one of the most important needs from the birth of a child.

On the other hand, if the parents do not value and celebrate the child’s achievements, that is, pay attention to them in a positive way, the child will come up with other ways to pay attention. So if this basic need of the child is not met in a positive way, he or she will look for ways that are sure to get the attention of the parents – usually this means bad behavior. Parents are likely to respond to this by raising their voices and scolding their child, i.e., using negative attention.

While positive attention is usually the best solution, sometimes parents make the mistake of affirming and rewarding a child for misbehavior. This is the case, for example, when they react to a child only when he or she behaves badly.

Using positive attention

The main motivator for positive attention is undoubtedly children. It is therefore important to give the child positive attention when he is behaving well and to stop using it in the face of bad behavior.

According to Maurice J. Elias, a professor of psychology at Rutgers University, and psychologists Steven E. Tobias and Brian S. Friedlander, adults need to work to reduce the amount of negative attention they pay to children, as this tends to increase conflicts at home and affect children’s self-esteem.

Children should be taught certain patterns of behavior that they identify as a way to get positive attention. In other words, it is important for a child to know that his or her parents appreciate his or her good behavior.

Why is positive attention so important?

Elias, Tobias, and Friedlander assume that the more negative attention a child receives, the more insecure he or she grows. This in turn causes the child to seek more attention, which can become a problem because negative attention is not as satisfactory as positive attention.

The main reason for using positive attention is that it supports the development of a child’s healthy self-image and self-esteem. In this way, parents help their child value themselves and make them feel safer and more secure.